I suppose in my psychological study of my mind through art I have tried to let what comes from my unconscious mind express itself directly through my hand, where it then becomes a part of my conscious world.

This hopefully allows one to express oneself more fully without the restrictions of the conscious that lie in wait for it.

Having done this over a number of years I now find I can express a subject of my conscious world in an artistically abstract way through conscious effort. Something I don't think I could do before.

I suppose basically I have learnt a craft in art although I feel the expression of the unconscious though art is far more creative.

What if your unconscious presents one with something harmful to oneself or someone else?

Well you can try to suppress it, but I feel it makes its eventual breakthrough anyway in a much more disastrous way.

Better to deal with it through fantasy & fantasy acting where hopefully its energy will dissipate and slip from one.

If it still persists then I'm afraid it is your karma to suffer.

       

Every time I approach a new canvas I feel a certain fear, will the act of creation from within me occur again?

I honestly feel I cannot block what ever occurs in my mind if this well is to be kept fresh. A prospect that is quite daunting at times and that has also led to quite a lot of pain in my past and probably will do so in the future.

     

I have walked many strange roads.

     

My sexual appetite is large and varied.

     

Morals & morality as far as I can see, are for most people, society's view of goodness. A view conditioned in them or one that they are not willing to admit deceit too for fear of being outcast & punished.

I would like to think that in my life mine always sprang from the heart.

With out doubt no one can say they have done no wrong, either by society's standards or their own.

To feel guilty by society standards is as far as I'm concerned something one has to de-condition oneself from. Without such action society becomes moribund and stops to evolve.

To feel guilt in your heart is the beginning of a road out.