01/02/02

                      I have been ill with "flu" for the last 10 days, but now that my energy is returning I feel a desire to work on the two oil paintings I have started.

                      I can feel a digital painting brewing as well.

           

10/02/02

                                                               Why do I paint & write?

                     Am I some sort of exhibitionist pervert leaving it all hang out for leeches to suck on

                                                          Or is it a more profound need

         

To clarify what has arisen in my Mind  

     &

Communicate it

                                                 I feel Being ness      if I do      Void ness if I don't

enough a reason for me

History of it

                                        I started painting 25 years ago in order to explore the Unconscious Me

                                       By doing it with out thinking about it in order to let that side of my Mind

                                                                       Express its Self

                                     BE WARY!   Its rather like opening Pandora's Box!

       

it spilled over into examination of other people & psychic situations 

                                                   

                                                                  An Artist was Born

I remember a dream I had at that time

     

                                                    I entered a deeply dark & exotic garden                                           

                                            Through a small door & wall going off to either side

                                         There was a small but deep prussian blue pool in the Center                      

                                                          To which I was making my Way

     

                                               I suddenly became aware of a HUGE SNAKE                            

                                                                 That was living There

     

24/02/02

                                    its funny, my dreams & paintings are really quite up at the moment

                                                           yet I myself feel quite depressed

     

                                                 perhaps the unconscious me knows something i don't

     

           i think i'll do a                           screwed up thoughts of a fuck up